The Apostate

The Apostate:

If you follow me, then you are going to go to hell with me where I have spent a great deal of time in recent years. I'm trying to prevent people from going where I have gone. I apostatized from God and from the LDS Church. I can testify first-hand that it is no place you want to go. It is hell.

Look to the current LDS Prophet. Look to the current LDS Apostles. In this there is safety and peace.

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I wrote this to BrianM, the Owner of LDS Freedom Forum:

I signed up for this forum (LDS Freedom Forum) as MegaManToo back when I was going through withdrawal and first started attending the LDS Church. My intention was to lurk, which is what I did for a year. Meanwhile, I was converted to the Gospel while attending Church and making friends with some Latter-day Saints. Then when Denver Snuffer and people on this forum started publicly attacking the LDS General Authorities, I knew they were wrong, and I couldn't remain in hiding any longer. I chose to champion the Brethren because nobody else seemed to be doing so at the time. After all, the local Brethren in my ward had been extremely kind to me during my recovery, and they didn't deserve the kinds of attacks that they were indirectly receiving here on LDS Freedom Forum.

After I accomplished that mission to my satisfaction, and as my testimony grew, I realized that I actually wanted to engage in some of the Gospel Discussions here on this forum; and, I thought it was insincere and disingenuous to do it anonymously, so I created an account under my own name, with the intention of letting the MegaManToo account and the Denver Snuffer issue just simply die. And, it was all dead for me for about a month, until people started resurrecting it again and commenting on what I had written as MegaManToo.

I have re-engaged to provide the clarification that I have been asked to provide, but I keep stating my intention to withdraw from the Denver Snuffer debate, which I still intend to do. I want to let Denver Snuffer and MegaManToo die. Over and over again, I keep saying that my intention is to just fade away into the sunset.

Meanwhile, the new convert to the LDS Church continues to function under his own name, which is the way that I now believe that it should be. I'm no longer hiding from the Latter-day Saints like I was a couple of years ago when I signed up as MegaManToo.

Mark My Words


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BrianM (the owner of LDS Freedom Forum) told me that he was fine with people having more than one user account on LDS Freedom Forum.

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Hindsight is 20/20. I can see now that it was unwise to create two separate user accounts; but at the time, it seemed like the correct and proper thing to do.

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I hadn't gone to Church for over a decade, when I became addicted to many different prescription drugs.

When I was working through the withdrawal symptoms, I went back to the LDS Church on a dare from my wife.  I didn't believe in God, religion, or the afterlife at the time.  I had fallen so far that I didn't even know how to turn on the television anymore.  Nothing seemed real to me.  I later found out that the Psychiatrists had diagnosed me as having a drug-induced Schizophrenia.  I was Schizophrenic, but were fine now.

It was subsequent to this time, after I had basically completed the withdrawal process and was starting to think logically again, that I signed up as MegaManToo on LDS Freedom Forum.

I was trying to figure out who and what I was.  Marjorie Conder helped me to realize that I was a Cultural Mormon at the time.  That's a term that I identified with for nearly a year as I worked through the withdrawal process and the reactivation process.

Am I angry at the Doctors for getting me addicted to sleeping pills, benzos, anti-psychotics, anti-depressants, proton-pump inhibitors, and hormone treatments?

No.

They were only trying to help me at the time.  I had a severe physical illness at the same time that they were trying to help me to cope with the associated mental illnesses.  I think they each did the best that they could, given what they had to work with.

Looking back at that point in time as I hit rock bottom, I can see that I had all of the Doctors confused and stumped.  They didn't know how to help me, even though they wanted to help me; and, I came close to dying a few times.  It was as confusing for me as it was for them.

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Ever since the Internet started, I have signed up all over the Internet under different anonymous handles. Why did I sign up anonymously? I intended to create chaos, destruction, and carnage everywhere I went. I intended to pwn them. I have been a very bad boy during my time.

As far as I know, the LDS Freedom Forum is the first and only forum where I actually created a user account under my own name. My intention was to repent of my evil ways, and I thought that using my own name would make my messages more genuine, sincere, and real. I have to freely admit that functioning under my own name is new to me and foreign to me. I have been forced to learn to do things in a different way. It's not natural for me to resist going on the attack; but, I'm getting much better at it, as some of my more recent posts on LDS Freedom Forum might attest.

http://www.ldsfreedomforum.com/viewtopic.php?f=14&t=34268

I still have a couple of messages to finish and post under the MegaManToo handle, but I have been in no real hurry to do so. Other things have intervened and taken precedence. Instead, I have taken to blogging under my own name.

http://ofgodandgoddesses.blogspot.com/

http://allwomenordained.blogspot.com/

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.

Mark My Words